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When an Autistic Child Does Not Look or Listen: How to Build Attention Before Demanding Language

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When an Autistic Child Does Not Look or Listen: How to Build Attention Before Demanding Language When parents say, “My child does not look at me and does not listen to what I say,” the immediate temptation is to repeatedly call the child’s name, demand eye contact, or increase the volume of instructions. But effective communication development requires a more fundamental question: Has the child actually become available for the information being presented? Dr. Santosh Kondekar emphasizes a developmental sequence: “Do not chase the child’s eyes. Build the child’s attention.” And, in the framework proposed by Dr. Kondekar: “Input → Awareness → Attention → Recognition → Meaning → Cognition → Communication.” This sequence places listening and meaningful attention before expecting sophisticated expressive language. Importantly, looking directly at a communication partner is not synonymous with listening. Some autistic children may attend to spoken information without sustained e...

importance of steadyness for learning. - Dr Kondekar

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If the therapeutic goal is to improve body steadiness rather than continually promoting movement, the child can use that stable body state as a platform for much broader learning. The important distinction is: movement is not inherently bad; unnecessary, repetitive movement should not become the default way of occupying the child. A useful framework for autism therapy could be: STEADY BODY → STEADY ATTENTION → BETTER INPUT → AWARENESS → RECOGNITION → MEANING → COGNITION → COMMUNICATION Once the body is reasonably settled, you can teach: 1. Listening Listen to name being called Listen to instructions Listen to stories Listen to descriptions of objects and people Listen to conversations without immediately acting Identify important sounds from background sounds 2. Looking and visual attention Look at an object that is being discussed Watch another person's action Follow a pointing gesture Notice changes in the environment Find an object among several objects Observe what another pers...

tantrum, refusal on study activity or work, a learned behaviour

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Dr Kondekars helps in understanding and tackling same. If an autistic child has learned to throw a tantrum whenever an activity is introduced, I would conceptualize the problem slightly differently from the “give me an object” situation. The child may have learned: ACTIVITY PRESENTED → TANTRUM → ADULT STOPS/DELAYS ACTIVITY → CHILD ESCAPES Over time, the child can learn that tantrum is an effective escape/avoidance communication. The therapeutic target is therefore not simply “stop tantrums.” It is: ACTIVITY → TOLERATE → START → COMPLETE A SMALL PART → SUCCESS → BREAK A practical protocol: 1. Start much smaller than the child can currently tolerate. Don't begin with a 20-minute task. Begin with perhaps 10–30 seconds or one very easy response. 2. Use a predictable signal. “First activity, then break.” A visual FIRST → THEN card can be useful. 3. Give the child a functional escape request. Teach one response such as “break,” “help,” “finished,” or a corresponding picture/AAC symbol. T...

impulsive child : teaching patience, wait, later and ask properly concepts

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IMPULSIVENESS it may be just begining of ADHD ,OR JUST A TANTRUM OR STUBBORNNESS USUALLY, or a controlling behaviour. here are some tips Dr Kondekar tried to help with repeatedly demanding different things, insisting that the parent comply, and then hitting when the demand is refused—is not simply a “therapy problem.”  I would treat it as a specific learned communication/behaviour pattern that needs a fresh functional assessment rather than simply adding more therapies. The important question is: “What does the child obtain by asking repeatedly and hitting?” In autism, aggression can function as communication. It may obtain an object/activity, adult attention, escape from a demand, or control over what happens next. If hitting reliably produces the desired outcome, the child can learn that “hitting works.” What I would do at home Do not try to stop every request. Instead, separate requesting from controlling . For example: Child: “Mobile! Mobile! Mobile!” Parent: “Ask on...

Vibhuti Yoga concept for autism: yoga for generating awareness in autism kids about the universe

 “Vibhuti Yoga” using the idea of the Bhagavad Gita’s  chapter 10, Vibhuti Yoga—recognising the special qualities and manifestations present in oneself, other people, living beings and the surrounding world— पहले “मैं” को महसूस करना → फिर “तुम” को पहचानना → फिर “हम” को समझना → फिर “दुनिया” से जुड़ना। For many autistic children, the difficulty is not simply lack of speech. There may be inadequate awareness of self, body, other people, changes in the environment, sensory information and the relationship between actions and consequences. Therefore, intervention can deliberately move from self-awareness → people-awareness → environmental awareness → shared awareness. Vibhuti Yoga concept for autism  click to see the video 1. मैं हूँ — Awareness of Self Begin with the child's own body and actions. यह मेरा हाथ है। यह मेरा पैर है। मैं बैठा हूँ। मैं चल रहा हूँ। मैं देख रहा हूँ। मैं सुन रहा हूँ। मुझे अच्छा लग रहा है। मुझे परेशानी हो रही है। मैंने यह किया। मेरे करने से यह हुआ। The ...

Autism: Beyond the Label — Understanding the Communication Chaos - Dr Kondekar

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Autism: Beyond the Label — Understanding the Communication Chaos Autism is not just a problem of speech or eye contact. These are only some of the visible manifestations of a much larger developmental difference. At its core, autism can be understood as a condition in which the brain processes, integrates and communicates information differently. The difficulty may affect communication with other people, communication between different parts of the body, integration between different senses and actions, and the ability to use these skills for age-appropriate everyday activities. The degree of difficulty can vary enormously from one child to another. One child may have relatively mild difficulties in one area and profound difficulties in another. Therefore, autism should never be understood as a single, uniform condition. Think of the brain as a huge communication network. There are countless neural pathways carrying information between the brain, the senses, the muscles, emotions,...

in autism therapies, focus on priority input most of the time, than just giving see and do activities to keep hold engaged - Dr Kondekar

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First build the input, then expect the output One of the most important principles in developmental intervention is often overlooked: Without initiating cognition through meaningful input, working only on output is like losing the learning window. A child does not learn merely by being trained to produce a response. The usual developmental sequence is: INPUT → ATTENTION → PROCESSING → COGNITION → RESPONSE → LEARNING The child first receives information through the senses, attends to it, recognises its meaning, connects it with previous experiences, and then produces an appropriate response. Over time, repeated meaningful experiences build cognition, communication and learning. Therefore, if we spend most of our effort trying to pro hindi and english duce an output—making the child say a word, imitate an action, make eye contact, perform an exercise or follow a command—without ensuring that the child is actually receiving, attending to and processing meaningful information, we m...

Prioritisation of Goals in Autism: the crux of Goal Directed Cognitive Approach

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Prioritisation of Goals in Autism: From Comprehensive Assessment to Meaningful Intervention - Dr Kondekar Developmental Opportunity Cost as a Side Effect of Poor Goal Prioritization read more Dr. Kondekar emphasizes that the consequences of therapy are not limited to its direct benefits or adverse effects. Failure to prioritize developmental goals can itself become a side effect of management. When substantial therapy time is repeatedly devoted to visible but secondary difficulties—such as sensory activities, repetitive exercises, object manipulation, or isolated behavioural targets—there may be less time available for awareness, understanding, human connection, language comprehension, communication and social cognition. The concern is therefore not that these interventions are inherently harmful, but that poor prioritization can unintentionally displace more developmentally important opportunities . As described in the Principle of Developmental Opportunity Cost, every therapy hour h...