100 questions by autism adhd parents and dr kondekars one line answers for therapy, socialisation, school readyness

.100 Questions Parents Ask While Preparing an Autistic Child for School Admission, Communication and Socialisation

A. SCHOOL ADMISSION AND SCHOOL READINESS

1. What does school readiness really mean?
   School readiness means being sufficiently steady, attentive, communicative and socially available to participate in classroom learning.

2. Is knowing ABC and numbers enough for school admission?
   No; the child must also be able to listen, follow instructions, sit, wait, communicate and participate.

3. Should I focus on academics before school admission?
   First build the developmental foundations that allow the child to learn academics from a teacher.

4. Should my child learn writing before admission?
   Writing is useful, but sitting, attention, listening, imitation and following instructions are often more fundamental.

5. Should my child learn to recognise colours?
   Yes, but recognition should not replace attention, communication and participation with people.

6. Should my child memorise poems for admission?
   Memorisation is less important than understanding, listening and responding meaningfully.

7. Should I teach my child to answer interview questions?
   Teach functional communication rather than rehearsing artificial answers.

8. What should I practise every day before school?
   Practise sitting, listening, following instructions, waiting, communicating and interacting with people.

9. How long should my child sit?
   Build sitting gradually to a duration appropriate for the child's developmental level and classroom demands.

10. Should sitting be forced?
    No; sitting should be systematically taught as a functional skill, not used as punishment.

11. Should I teach sitting on a chair?
    Yes, because classroom participation commonly requires seated attention.

12. Should I also teach floor sitting?
    Yes, because different school activities may require different sitting positions.

13. Should I teach sitting with folded hands?
    Yes, as a simple practice of posture, stillness and readiness to listen.

14. Should my child learn to wait?
    Absolutely; waiting is a major component of classroom participation.

15. Should my child learn to stop an activity?
    Yes; learning to stop is as important as learning to start.

16. Why is stopping so important?
    Because school requires the child to shift from preferred activity to teacher-directed activity.

17. My child can run very well; is that good regulation?
    Not necessarily; functional regulation also requires the ability to stop, sit and attend.

18. My child is physically active all the time; should I give more exercise?
    Exercise may help, but the child must also practise controlled movement, stopping and stillness.

19. Should therapy make my child tired before school?
    No; the objective is regulation and learning, not exhaustion.

20. What is the simplest test of school readiness?
    Ask whether the child can stop, sit, attend, listen, understand, respond and participate.

B. MOVEMENT, SENSORY NEEDS AND REGULATION

21. Does every restless child need more movement?
    No; movement may help regulation, but the child must also learn stillness and self-control.

22. Should every sensory-seeking behaviour be followed by a sensory activity?
    Not automatically; first determine whether the activity improves functional participation.

23. Can too much sensory activity become counterproductive?
    It can if it occupies therapy time without progressing attention, communication or participation.

24. Should OT simply keep my child moving?
    No; purposeful OT should progressively connect motor activity with cognitive, communicative and functional learning.

25. What is better than movement for movement's sake?
    Controlled movement followed by stopping, sitting, attention and interaction.

26. Should my child constantly be given a toy to stay regulated?
    No; toys can support learning, but they should not replace development of human engagement.

27. Can a sensory room prepare my child for school by itself?
    No; school readiness requires transfer of regulation into sitting, listening, communication and classroom participation.

28. Should I stop sensory activities completely?
    No; use them purposefully when they support participation and learning.

29. What is sensory control?
    It is the growing ability to remain functional across different sensory and environmental conditions.

30. What is the difference between sensory input and sensory control?
    Sensory input changes the child's state; sensory control helps the child function without depending on continuous external input.

31. Should movement always come before learning?
    Not necessarily; sometimes the child needs to learn that stillness itself can support attention.

32. Can yoga help my child learn regulation?
    Yoga can be a useful structured practice for posture, breathing, controlled movement, awareness and stillness.

33. Is yoga simply another exercise programme?
    It can be used more meaningfully as practice in controlled movement, posture, breathing and attention.

34. Should yoga replace occupational therapy?
    No; yoga can complement therapy, while OT should remain individualized to the child's functional needs.

35. What should yoga ultimately teach?
    The child should learn controlled movement, stopping, posture, breathing, awareness and peaceful stillness.

36. Why teach stillness?
    Because learning often requires the child to remain physically settled while the brain processes information.

37. Should I reward my child every time he sits?
    Reinforcement can be useful, but gradually make sitting intrinsically connected with meaningful participation.

38. My child sits only when watching a screen; is that school readiness?
    No; screen attention does not automatically demonstrate attention to a teacher or social communication.

39. My child can sit while playing alone; is that enough?
    No; school requires sitting while attending to other people and shared activities.

40. What should movement ultimately lead to?
    Movement should increasingly lead toward regulation, stopping, attention, communication and learning.

C. COMMUNICATION AND LISTENING

41. What should come before good speech?
    Meaningful listening and attention to human communication are important foundations.

42. Should I teach speech by making my child repeat words?
    Repetition can have a role, but communication should progressively become meaningful, spontaneous and socially directed.

43. If my child repeats everything, does that mean communication is developing?
    Repetition may demonstrate language processing, but meaningful communication requires understanding and purposeful use.

44. Should I focus on pronunciation first?
    Prioritize functional communication and understanding rather than treating speech as sound production alone.

45. Should I talk to my child more?
    Yes, particularly in meaningful, interactive situations where the child has a reason to listen and respond.

46. Should I speak in very short sentences?
    Use language appropriate to the child's comprehension while gradually expanding meaningful language.

47. Should I constantly name objects?
    Object naming is useful, but communication should move from naming objects toward understanding actions, people, relationships and ideas.

48. Should I use flashcards extensively?
    Flashcards can teach specific concepts, but they should not replace real-life listening and interaction.

49. Should I teach my child through pictures only?
    Pictures can support understanding, but Dr. Kondekar's framework places particular emphasis on developing listening and verbal cognition.

50. Why is listening so important?
    Listening allows the child to receive sequential information, understand meaning and eventually build more complex verbal thought.

51. Should I tell stories to my autistic child?
    Yes; stories can develop listening, sequence, vocabulary, prediction, understanding and social meaning.

52. Should I ask questions after stories?
    Yes, gradually move from factual questions toward prediction, reasoning and personal responses.

53. Should I teach “what,” “where” and “who”?
    Yes, then progressively move toward “why,” “how,” prediction and explanation.

54. Should I teach my child to answer yes/no questions?
    Yes, but communication should progressively include choices, requests, comments and conversation.

55. Should I teach requesting first?
    Functional requesting is important, but communication should not stop at requesting.

56. What should come after requesting?
    Teach commenting, answering, questioning, sharing experiences and conversational interaction.

57. My child knows many words but does not talk socially; why?
    Vocabulary alone does not guarantee social communication or integrated language use.

58. Should I teach conversation?
    Yes; conversation requires listening, responding, maintaining a topic and understanding another person's contribution.

59. Should parents talk while the child is playing?
    Yes, but use the child's activity as an opportunity for shared interaction rather than delivering a continuous monologue.

60. What is the goal of speech therapy?
    The goal should extend beyond producing words toward understanding, thinking, communicating and connecting with people.

D. HUMAN CONNECTION AND SOCIALISATION

61. Should therapy use more people or more objects?
    For social communication, people must increasingly become the centre of the activity.

62. Can toys teach socialisation by themselves?
    No; toys are tools, while socialisation is learned through interaction with people.

63. Should the therapist become the activity?
    Yes; whenever possible, the therapist should create reasons for the child to look, listen, respond and interact.

64. Should parents become part of therapy?
    Yes; parents should learn how to create developmental learning opportunities throughout everyday life.

65. Should siblings participate?
    Yes; siblings provide natural opportunities for imitation, turn-taking, communication and shared experiences.

66. Should peers participate?
    Yes; peer interaction is essential for practising real-world social behaviour.

67. Should my child play alone less?
    The goal is not to eliminate independent play but to increase meaningful shared engagement.

68. Should I take away all toys?
    No; use toys as tools for interaction rather than as substitutes for interaction.

69. What should I do with a favourite toy?
    Use the favourite object to create shared attention, communication and turn-taking.

70. Should I give my child everything he wants immediately?
    Create appropriate opportunities for communication, requesting, waiting and shared interaction.

71. Should I make my child look into my eyes?
    Do not force staring; build natural orientation, shared attention and meaningful social connection.

72. What is more important than counting eye-contact seconds?
    Whether the child notices, attends to, understands and responds to another person.

73. Should I teach eye contact during object play?
    Use the object to create shared attention between the child and another person.

74. Should I call my child's name repeatedly?
    Use the name meaningfully and teach the child that another person's voice carries information worth attending to.

75. Should I practise turn-taking?
    Yes; turn-taking teaches waiting, anticipation, reciprocity and social participation.

76. Should I teach imitation?
    Yes; imitation can bridge observation, attention, motor learning and social participation.

77. Should my child learn to follow another child's play?
    Yes; following another person's actions is an important foundation for social learning.

78. Should I teach sharing?
    Yes, but begin with shared participation and turn-taking rather than demanding abstract sharing immediately.

79. Should I teach greetings?
    Yes, but teach the meaning and social context of greeting rather than memorising a scripted performance.

80. What is the ultimate goal of socialisation?
    The goal is not merely socially acceptable behaviour but meaningful connection, communication, participation and understanding.

E. THINKING, FLEXIBILITY AND LEARNING

81. Should therapy repeat the same activity every day?
    Repetition can consolidate learning, but therapy should progressively increase thinking, flexibility and generalisation.

82. Why can too much repetition become a problem?
    The child may become skilled at executing a familiar task without developing flexible thinking or generalisation.

83. Should therapy introduce new problems?
    Yes; appropriately graded novelty can encourage problem solving and adaptability.

84. Should the child always get the same toy in the same way?
    No; gradually vary materials, people, settings and solutions to develop flexibility.

85. Should I teach problem solving?
    Yes; moving from performing activities to thinking about solutions is a major developmental progression.

86. Should I ask “what will happen next?”
    Yes; prediction helps develop sequencing, anticipation and conceptual thinking.

87. Should I ask “why?” questions?
    Yes, when the child's comprehension allows it, because reasoning is more advanced than simple naming.

88. Should my child learn concepts rather than isolated facts?
    Yes; concepts are more transferable across people, objects and situations.

89. Should therapy connect activities to daily life?
    Yes; learning should generalise from the therapy room to home, school and community settings.

90. What does successful therapy look like?
    The child begins generating ideas, adapting responses, communicating, solving problems and applying learning in new situations.

F. THE FINAL 10 QUESTIONS BEFORE SCHOOL ADMISSION

91. Can my child sit for a meaningful classroom activity?
    If not, sitting should become an explicit developmental target before or alongside academic preparation.

92. Can my child stop when asked?
    This is an important functional regulation and classroom-readiness skill.

93. Can my child listen to a teacher for a meaningful period?
    If not, prioritize attention to human speech and listening comprehension.

94. Can my child follow one-step instructions?
    Build from simple instructions toward sequences of two or more steps.

95. Can my child communicate a need without depending entirely on behaviour?
    Build functional communication so the child has an effective way to request, refuse, comment and seek help.

96. Can my child participate with another child?
    Practise shared activities, turn-taking, imitation and simple reciprocal games.

97. Can my child tolerate waiting?
    Teach short periods of waiting and progressively increase them.

98. Can my child transition from a preferred activity to a required activity?
    Practise stopping, changing activities and returning to a structured task.

99. Can my child learn from a person rather than only from objects?
    This is crucial; the child must increasingly attend to people as sources of information, communication and learning.

100. What is the final question parents should ask before school admission?
     “Can my child stop, sit, attend, listen, understand, communicate, connect with people and participate sufficiently to learn in this classroom?”

The central message

Dr. Kondekar's broader framework places intervention within a developmental hierarchy: regulation and engagement should progress toward interaction, cognition, communication, generalisation and social participation rather than remaining at the level of repetitive activity execution.

So the parent should not ask only:

“How many therapies does my child attend?”

Ask:

“What can my child do now that he could not do three months ago?”

Not:

“How many activities can my child perform?”

But:

“How much can my child think, listen, communicate and connect?”

Not:

“How much sensory input did my child receive?”

But:

“Can my child regulate sufficiently to participate?”

And not:

“Can my child keep busy?”

But:

“Can my child stop, sit, listen to a person, communicate and learn?”

That is the direction from therapy → communication → socialisation → school readiness → participation in life.